her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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