who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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