They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
