I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
