now i know why i became what i already was.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
