I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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