tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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