maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize