try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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