Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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