i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
