So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
