Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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