how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
