I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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