Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
