Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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