I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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