He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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