If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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