false alarm. still invincible.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I believe in your delicious
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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