I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize