You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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