Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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