i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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