Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
