I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
