the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize