This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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