He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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