Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
