Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I need to align my fucking chakras
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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