she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
