Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You took a bar mat shot.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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