Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
