Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
your like the ambassador to my penis.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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