my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The air taste purple.
Randomize
