can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm at about main and main street
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
