I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I need to calm my uterus...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
