i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
