Apparently you make a good broom.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
