btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
