Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
