Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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