Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I will be naked everywhere
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
