i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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