Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
