I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
