yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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