What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
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My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize