Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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