Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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