My brain says no but my pants say off.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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