doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
