couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
